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Darcy Syndrome March 22, 2009

Posted by flightdeparting in Love, Relationships, Women (Venutians).
Tags: , , , , ,
5 comments
The Mythical Pretend Asshole

Mr. Darcy

In high school I had a huge crush on this girl named Lisa.  She was tall, gorgeous, and most importantly intellectual.  She consumed books like candy, wove words like a needle and thread, and had me wrapped around her finger.  So when she told me to promise her that I’d read Pride and Prejudice, I couldn’t refuse.  She loved this book and always had it close to her heart so I assumed that it’d give me some insight into her mind, and hey, maybe a way into her pants.  But when I started reading it, all I could think of was, “How can anyone like this bullsh*t?”

I would only begin to understand this a few years down the road.

Almost every woman I’ve ever met has loved Pride and Prejudice.  Could it be the Victorian elegance?  The luxurious culture?  The fancy balls?  Nay, it’s Mr. Darcy. For those of you who are (thankfully) unfamiliar, Mr. Darcy is the book’s primary love interest.

Essentially the storyline goes like this: Mr. Darcy meets Liz.  Mr. Darcy is a dick to Liz.  Liz is pissed off by Mr. Darcy but is still intrigued.  Mr. Darcy continues to be a dick to Liz.  Liz ensnares Mr. Darcy with her feminine wiles.  Mr. Darcy reveals his true side and is actually a lovely, caring, nice guy and his dick personality was actually a protective facade.

Sound familiar?  It should.  It’s the same storyline for every chick flick ever made.  Pride and Prejudice is the ancestral origin of the modern romantic comedy.  And for good reason.  Mr. Darcy is the embodiment of the ultimate female fantasy.

Women always complain that there are no nice guys out there.  But of course, this isn’t the case.  [A: Most women know this, but most women also have the Cleopatra Complex–we’re queens of denial.] There are lots of them, it’s just that women prefer someone of a more inconsiderate nature.  Women ultimately want to change an a**hole into a nice guy through their relationship.  In a way, it’s a badge of honor.  If a woman does manage to find the softer side of a dickish personality (no pun intended), she’s done something that no other female has been able to do.  And people ask why the a**hats always get the girls.  The bad boys are their challenge to overcome.  The nice guys are supposed to be the end result — not the starting point.

Here’s the problem, though: Mr. Darcy doesn’t exist.  An a**hole is an a**hole is an a**hole.  Sure, maybe he used to be a nice guy, but now he’s an inconsiderate douche.  Guys don’t start out like this, nor do they spontaneously transform into dicks.  It’s a slow process of realization that leads them to learn that the nice guys really do finish last.  And when they realize that being an a**hole does help them gain the interest of women, there’s no turning him back to the nice guy.  It’s a one-way process.

So what now?  Are women doomed to forever be with either the nonchalant asshole or the undesirable nice guy?  No.  It’s just a matter of balance.  We all have a level of toleration for asinine behavior.  You just have to find the guy who has just enough of it not to be the pushover nice guy and still not be a full blown a**hole.  Happy hunting!

Term of the Day

Darcy Syndrome [dar-see] [sin-drome]
– noun

1. Wherein a woman mistakenly believes that she can change a man with a**hole-like behavior into a considerate gentleman