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March 17, 2004

Posted by anoddphrase in Uncategorized.
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hrm, i know, i’ve been out of it… but hey, spring break’s been settling in and between perfecting not doing anything and SAT practicing (one and the same, i assure u).. i’ve had a difficult time actually writing down the thoughts that wander and swim through that jungle/sea/ocean of mess in my head :P. also technical problems that i’m jst not going to get into. at any rate :P… lately don’t think that my poetry is suited for aij–which methinks though is probably not proven is looked at and seen by far too many lately or not so lately, but meh :P. yeah, i’ll stop w/ the nonsense and here ya go :P…..


 


the art of drowning


            (a.k.a. that is)


 


 


the feeling of suffocation


            a hand over your mouth


            a blanket stifled over your face


                the insistent smell of must and mildew permeate your senses, just before—


 


    and I can’t seem to breathe


            I sometimes wonder, how could I ever


                                                            without you? (that is)


 


the feeling of loneliness


            the feeling of without you


                the feeling of an empty space at my side


                   the feeling of something missing that never was and never will be


                                                                        without you… (that is)


 


            that haunting feeling that I sometimes get, before I let imagination takeover and soar in that missing space where you used to reside


                                                                                    (so relaxed and so laidback…


                                                                                    …. so you.)


 


                                                                                    just before—


                                                                                                that ephemeral glimpse of


sometimes                                                                                               gratification


                        i imagine what it would be                                     where Death holds you


                                                without you (that is)                          in the palm of her hand


                                         what i would be                                           [pale, as pristine snow]


                                                without you (that is)                          cups you to her bosom


                                            happier?                                       whispering softly in your ear


                                            content?                                that you will never be alone again


                                            satisfied?                         


                                                            with that alone feeling that i used to be so used to


                                                                                                without you (that is)


 


            but without you (that is) the me that is now             


                        that is [deep inside] longing again to be


found and whole


                                                                                    [would never be and will never be                                                                                                                                             again


 


 


                                      and i watch as the [pretty/beautiful/undying]


                                                                 colors (whirling and unending—a mosaic) of life


                                                         undulate above my head


                                                              [floating tendrils of mermaid hair cloud around me


                                                                        , dark as night, yet i can still see as clear


                                                                                                                        as day]


 


                                                                        this feeling of numbness fade


                                                                            and all but the last picture of you


                                                                           sparkles and glitters in my mind


                                                                                    before drifting away in the waters


                                                                                                that surround me


                                                            but that last image I see…


 


 


                                                                                                I see you.


 

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Comments»

1. Fairyskisses77 - March 17, 2004

ah, i love it when you leave comments on my xanga because they’re always long, heartfelt, and humorous.
Unfortunately, I can’t meet up with you and the rest of the quadians because i’m in DC. remember? I’m at my oldest sister’s house for spring break. I’ve been doing algebra II for the past three days… sigh.. ugh… i have to buy an SAT prep book tomorrow.
I love your personification of death. we seem to do that, don’t we? 😉
and yes, i am a closet pyro. =]

2. Anonymous - March 18, 2004

I happen to like it, but that doesn’t say much, now, does it?


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